So, as I predicted, I've fallen off the wagon rather early on in the race. I have chosen, however, to react not by throwing my hands up in despair, but by picking up where I left off. I get a lot of enjoyment out of writing these; they help me to "think on good things" in my life. (Philippians 4:8, my version)
This has been a super busy, but extremely pleasant, weekend with friends and family. I had forgotten how exhausting it is to be with people constantly, though. I really don't mean that in a bad way, but it's difficult to really convey what I mean without sounding antisocial and mean. What I mean is, I adore my friends and family, and I need time with them (more so than I need time alone; I'm too introspective) -- but it takes so much out of me that I have to take time to recharge before I can do it again. I realized that I've been with people nonstop since Wednesday night at church, going from church to the apartment and catching up with Ali, to class Thursday and Friday, to Chris's birthday party, to the Afterthought, to the bridal shop and shopping all day Saturday with Annie and her other bridesmaids, straight to picking up Leeanne to go to eat dinner with family friends, spending the night with her at my house, taking her to church with me Sunday morning, hanging out with my family Sunday afternoon before meeting Rachel and going to the Perspectives orientation Sunday night, meeting lots of classmates there, bringing Rachel back to the apartment to spend the night and chatting for hours Sunday night and Monday morning. By the time Monday afternoon rolled around, I stopped and sat down, and realized just how tired I was. I think it's one of the best kinds of exhaustion there is, though, because even though I'm tired, I know it's because I've been investing in relationships. That's always worth it.
I'm really excited about the Perspectives class. I feel like God is going to reveal some amazing things this semester, and I can't wait to start learning how to jump into what He's doing. He's already sparked so much life in me lately, reminding me of things I'd forgotten, opening my mind to things I hadn't considered or connected, focusing me on things more important than myself. I've had so many blessed conversations with good friends lately that keep me mindful of how He's working on such a broad scale and preparing His church for what's to come. He really is washing us with His word and making us His spotless Bride; how AMAZING is that? Speaking of which, one thing that really hit me this week was 1 Peter 1:15-16: But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” What I learned was that Greek passive, present participle used for "be" in this passage indicates that we are God's workmanship: we are being made holy BY God. This is NOT a commandment to make a list of "holiness" rules and check them all off. We aren't being made holy by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. Not at all, it is the work of God in us. The more we are who we are in Christ, the more that holiness flows out in all we do.
Anyway, I feel like I'm just barely touching a thread of the hem of His garment...like I understand the tiniest fragment of the truth, but can't see the whole mosaic. It's so frustrating. I wish I didn't have to see through this veil. Tiny glimpses of Him blow me away; I can't imagine what it will be like to be in His presence.
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