Pretty much all I can do at work is think or write about the things I would do at home if I had the energy, and while I'm at work, I convince myself that I'll have the energy when I get home......and I never do. Bleh. BUT! This weekend, I'm going to get a headstart on at least one of my projects, and sooner or later, I'm going to post pictures of a FINISHED PROJECT. Right now, my list of projects includes:
Crocheting an afghan
Re-covering my wingback armchair
Trying one new recipe a week
This week, I've already accomplished my recipe goal: Spaghetti Carbonara (the healthier version).
From start to finish it only took 30 minutes, and all I had to do was cook some thin spaghetti, shred a couple of cups of parmesan cheese and mix 2 eggs into it, then toss them together with some turkey bacon, onions, and garlic that I sauteed while the pasta was cooking. I think that it turned out well for a first try, because getting the creamy consistency from the eggs and parmesan is pretty much a learned art, from what I've read. I'll keep trying. As for this batch, at least it tasted really good! I added some kosher salt, fresh ground black pepper, and some cayenne pepper (because for some reason, I can't make a pasta dish without feeling like it needs a little extra "ummph"). I think I'm going to try some kind of chicken enchilada dish next week. Last week's dish was also a success: stuffed anaheim peppers and spanish rice.
In my opinion, anything stuffed with cream cheese has to be good, and this recipe didn't disappoint. The sauce was actually really easy to make (onions, garlic, oil, chile paste, broth, cornstarch...lots of chili powder...), and the rest of the dish took some time (blanching the peppers, cooking and shredding the seasoned chicken, stuffing the peppers with the cream cheese/chicken mixture, broiling the peppers), but each step is actually very simple. It's a great recipe for impressing people!
Also, my afghan project isn't quite as impressive (it still looks like a scarf), but one day, it will grow into an actual blanket! :)
That's all I've got for today; hopefully I'll have more progress to report soon.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
My Name
I’ve always known my name was Grace Kathryn for a reason. You don’t just show up on earth with a name that means “pure grace” for nothing. I’ve been asking God more and more how I can live that out in a way that makes a difference in the lives of others, and so, God has been answering. Unfortunately (and fortunately) the first part of any answer he gives me always knocks me flat on my face, humbled before Him. It’s not fun facing up to my own failures and shortcomings, but it’s necessary, and by far for my greater good.
So, he shattered my selfish mirror called “pride” to pieces to bring my focus to the truth:
His. Grace. Is. Everything.
I am not saved, I am not preferred, I am not “liked” by God because of anything, ANYTHING, that I do. He doesn’t think I’m a whiter shade of white because of anything I have or haven’t done. It’s never been about what I can keep together, what I can do, or what I haven’t done – because you know what? My BEST attempts at righteousness are worth NOTHING in the eyes of God. They’re like used tampons, they’re so disgusting. (Sorry to be graphic, but that’s literally what the Bible says – just look up the historical context of “filthy rags.”) I literally thought there were certain parts of my life where I wasn’t really THAT dirty, because you know…we all have those lists of things that “other” people do, that we don’t do, which somehow makes us easier to forgive. But sitting around in the Body of Christ (the church) comparing what I’ve done with what you’ve done and what I haven’t done with what you haven’t done is POINTLESS, because NONE of it matters. That’s right. NONE of it. Satan would like to keep us busy playing this little comparison game in our heads because it keeps us focused on how good we think we are, not how good God is. Do our actions point to how we’re growing in Christ? Of course, but they aren’t the basis upon which we receive grace. His grace bought me when I was still dead in my sin – and his grace hasn’t changed. It’s the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow because HE doesn’t change.
*sigh* I’ve said all that, and I still don’t think my words can even begin to grasp at what I’m starting to realize about his grace. Words are so feeble. The best image I can think of is something David Crowder has already said that is starting to sink into my soul: “If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.”
Having said (or tried to say) all of that, let me move on to the second thing God started to show me about grace. I was talking last week with one of my good friends who has known me since freshman year of college, and we were discussing the incredible work God is continuing to do in his life (and in mine) since then. He reminded me that in the Old Testament, an extremely symbolic book, the hyssop plant is used to represent God’s grace. The children of Israel brushed the blood over their doorposts with hyssop plants for the angel of death to pass over their homes: grace was the means by which his blood spared His children. The burning bush in the desert? It was a hyssop plant. God’s grace was literally ON FIRE so that God could get Moses’ attention and speak to him while he was running away from a murder scene where he WAS the murderer!
So where do you think my mind went next? Well, of course. I must hyssop plant—a burning bush! (Think of the passages about being the light of the world, being a fragrant aroma, bringing healing…) I want to be a conduit for that bright, fragrant, healing power of grace to reach people in this world.
My mother loves to sing the words of that wonderful childrens’ song, “I just wanna be a sheep, baa baa baa baa!” Well, I wanna be a hyssop plant! I want to be Grace.
So, he shattered my selfish mirror called “pride” to pieces to bring my focus to the truth:
His. Grace. Is. Everything.
I am not saved, I am not preferred, I am not “liked” by God because of anything, ANYTHING, that I do. He doesn’t think I’m a whiter shade of white because of anything I have or haven’t done. It’s never been about what I can keep together, what I can do, or what I haven’t done – because you know what? My BEST attempts at righteousness are worth NOTHING in the eyes of God. They’re like used tampons, they’re so disgusting. (Sorry to be graphic, but that’s literally what the Bible says – just look up the historical context of “filthy rags.”) I literally thought there were certain parts of my life where I wasn’t really THAT dirty, because you know…we all have those lists of things that “other” people do, that we don’t do, which somehow makes us easier to forgive. But sitting around in the Body of Christ (the church) comparing what I’ve done with what you’ve done and what I haven’t done with what you haven’t done is POINTLESS, because NONE of it matters. That’s right. NONE of it. Satan would like to keep us busy playing this little comparison game in our heads because it keeps us focused on how good we think we are, not how good God is. Do our actions point to how we’re growing in Christ? Of course, but they aren’t the basis upon which we receive grace. His grace bought me when I was still dead in my sin – and his grace hasn’t changed. It’s the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow because HE doesn’t change.
*sigh* I’ve said all that, and I still don’t think my words can even begin to grasp at what I’m starting to realize about his grace. Words are so feeble. The best image I can think of is something David Crowder has already said that is starting to sink into my soul: “If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.”
Having said (or tried to say) all of that, let me move on to the second thing God started to show me about grace. I was talking last week with one of my good friends who has known me since freshman year of college, and we were discussing the incredible work God is continuing to do in his life (and in mine) since then. He reminded me that in the Old Testament, an extremely symbolic book, the hyssop plant is used to represent God’s grace. The children of Israel brushed the blood over their doorposts with hyssop plants for the angel of death to pass over their homes: grace was the means by which his blood spared His children. The burning bush in the desert? It was a hyssop plant. God’s grace was literally ON FIRE so that God could get Moses’ attention and speak to him while he was running away from a murder scene where he WAS the murderer!
So where do you think my mind went next? Well, of course. I must hyssop plant—a burning bush! (Think of the passages about being the light of the world, being a fragrant aroma, bringing healing…) I want to be a conduit for that bright, fragrant, healing power of grace to reach people in this world.
My mother loves to sing the words of that wonderful childrens’ song, “I just wanna be a sheep, baa baa baa baa!” Well, I wanna be a hyssop plant! I want to be Grace.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
It's been a while...
For some reason, good coffee makes me feel like writing, so since I made a fabulous cup of coffee with my french press this morning -- here I am. There's way too much going on in my personal life for me to be able to construct any kind of update in my head, much less write it down. So, I'll suffice it all to say that life is unpredictable, challenging, and downright painful sometimes, but God doesn't lie: His beauty does come from ashes and his joy comes despite the pain.
Working at FIS is a lot more stressful than I had expected it to be. I've started a new habit of praying over each days' calls as soon as I pull into the parking lot; otherwise I know I won't be able to handle it. People are hateful. Or maybe I care too much. Coworkers who've been there a while seem to think I'm just too sweet; maybe it's true. But I'd rather care too much than not care at all. I've already decided that I'll take what I can from the job, but it won't take anything from me.
Taxes are done...bills are paid for the month. Doesn't seem like there's a lot to take care of today except cleaning. Maybe that's why I'm still sitting here with my coffee. =P Oh - I did want to share my cooking success story. I made General Tso's chicken from scratch, double fried, spicy sauce and everything...and it tasted just as good (if not better) than the restaurant's. (And I know exactly what was in it.) I think my next experiment is going to be Hong Kong Pork. Which means I should probably go thaw that meat out.......
Working at FIS is a lot more stressful than I had expected it to be. I've started a new habit of praying over each days' calls as soon as I pull into the parking lot; otherwise I know I won't be able to handle it. People are hateful. Or maybe I care too much. Coworkers who've been there a while seem to think I'm just too sweet; maybe it's true. But I'd rather care too much than not care at all. I've already decided that I'll take what I can from the job, but it won't take anything from me.
Taxes are done...bills are paid for the month. Doesn't seem like there's a lot to take care of today except cleaning. Maybe that's why I'm still sitting here with my coffee. =P Oh - I did want to share my cooking success story. I made General Tso's chicken from scratch, double fried, spicy sauce and everything...and it tasted just as good (if not better) than the restaurant's. (And I know exactly what was in it.) I think my next experiment is going to be Hong Kong Pork. Which means I should probably go thaw that meat out.......
Friday, November 11, 2011
Good reading
So I got yelled at, really yelled at, by a French Canadian today. Some teenage kid decided that I was to be the object of his rage because his card wasn’t working and even though I explained why, he still felt the need to vent his frustration and tell me all about how he put his money on the card and needed to pay his cell phone bill and he wasn’t going to give up his hard earned money to Mastercard and how I had to refund his money immediately. Over and over and over. On. Three. Different. Calls. “So you’re telling me you want me to accept that I’m going to lose my fifty bucks huh? Really huh? That’s what your tellin me?!” Yes actually…I’m telling you that I can’t help you because your card number isn’t even valid and I’m going to disconnect this call. *Release button* Only to get yelled at a few minutes later by a man trying to use his prepaid card for a casino transaction (all of which are blocked on prepaid cards, btw) accusing me of taking HIS money. It didn’t matter how many times I told him that I couldn’t mail him a check, and that it was his choice to put HIS money on HIS card, and that he still had access to it, he was adamant that I didn’t have the right to tell him what to do with his money. Fortunately, French calls aren’t recorded, so I just talked over him until he understood that HE chose to submit to the card’s terms and conditions I wasn’t going to listen anymore. He could do what he wanted with his money, as long as it wasn’t gambling. :P *Release button*
Gah. People. You might have one of the friendliest people in the world on the phone, but when you get money involved, the worst comes out in everyone—even them. I’ve always known that money was the root of all evil; I just hadn’t seen it come to life in such detail before. That said, I got pretty irritated when they took $250 out of my paycheck this week for a health spending account I didn’t enroll in this year. Fortunately, they notified me that the situation was corrected today, but the $250 won’t be refunded until my next paycheck. Good thing I don’t have to live off of it. :P
I’ve been thinking on my way home from work that I need to find a few regular hobbies to fill my time now that I have a regular schedule. Playing L.A. Noire and solving cases with my video game character is great, but I should probably have some backup activities for when all the cases are solved. I wish there were more places to go hiking around where I live, or at least places to walk or run outside in nature. There’s only a little bit of autumn left, and it would be nice to spend what I can of it outside. This winter though, I’m going to finish my France scrapbook and finish crocheting my afghan. It’s about time I finished something!
I’ve been reading “The Toynbee Convector” collection of short stories by Ray Bradbury during my slow times at work and LOVING it. I had almost forgotten that warm feeling you get when you read a perfectly turned phrase, like, “The sounds of the world wandered in through his hairy ears like static on a badly tuned radio.”
Or, “He drove out of town. He was supposed to be in New York in five days to talk over the play he didn’t want to write for Broadway, in order to rush back to Hollywood in time to not enjoy finishing a screenplay, so that he could rush to Mexico City for a quick vacation next December. Sometimes, he mused, I resemble those Mexican rockets dashing between the town buildings on a hot wire, bashing my head on one wall, turning, and zooming back to crash against another.”
Don’t we all have lives like that?
And…”He walked through the green forest and listened to the various silences there. Not one silence, but several; the silence that the moss made underfoot, the silence the shadows made depending from the trees, the silence of small streams exploring tiny countries on all sides as he came into a clearing.”
We all instinctively *know* that there is not just one silence in a forest, but “various silences.” But how many of us actually bother to *notice* it? Ray Bradbury does. Tis a shame this is a library book; otherwise, I would have marked up all my favorite quotes by now.
Like this one, “For the simple fact was that she was fifteen pounds underweight and he was always trying to get her to add a few pounds. And he was twenty pounds overweight and she was always trying to get him to take off more than his shoes.” LOL
I can never get enough good writing.
Gah. People. You might have one of the friendliest people in the world on the phone, but when you get money involved, the worst comes out in everyone—even them. I’ve always known that money was the root of all evil; I just hadn’t seen it come to life in such detail before. That said, I got pretty irritated when they took $250 out of my paycheck this week for a health spending account I didn’t enroll in this year. Fortunately, they notified me that the situation was corrected today, but the $250 won’t be refunded until my next paycheck. Good thing I don’t have to live off of it. :P
I’ve been thinking on my way home from work that I need to find a few regular hobbies to fill my time now that I have a regular schedule. Playing L.A. Noire and solving cases with my video game character is great, but I should probably have some backup activities for when all the cases are solved. I wish there were more places to go hiking around where I live, or at least places to walk or run outside in nature. There’s only a little bit of autumn left, and it would be nice to spend what I can of it outside. This winter though, I’m going to finish my France scrapbook and finish crocheting my afghan. It’s about time I finished something!
I’ve been reading “The Toynbee Convector” collection of short stories by Ray Bradbury during my slow times at work and LOVING it. I had almost forgotten that warm feeling you get when you read a perfectly turned phrase, like, “The sounds of the world wandered in through his hairy ears like static on a badly tuned radio.”
Or, “He drove out of town. He was supposed to be in New York in five days to talk over the play he didn’t want to write for Broadway, in order to rush back to Hollywood in time to not enjoy finishing a screenplay, so that he could rush to Mexico City for a quick vacation next December. Sometimes, he mused, I resemble those Mexican rockets dashing between the town buildings on a hot wire, bashing my head on one wall, turning, and zooming back to crash against another.”
Don’t we all have lives like that?
And…”He walked through the green forest and listened to the various silences there. Not one silence, but several; the silence that the moss made underfoot, the silence the shadows made depending from the trees, the silence of small streams exploring tiny countries on all sides as he came into a clearing.”
We all instinctively *know* that there is not just one silence in a forest, but “various silences.” But how many of us actually bother to *notice* it? Ray Bradbury does. Tis a shame this is a library book; otherwise, I would have marked up all my favorite quotes by now.
Like this one, “For the simple fact was that she was fifteen pounds underweight and he was always trying to get her to add a few pounds. And he was twenty pounds overweight and she was always trying to get him to take off more than his shoes.” LOL
I can never get enough good writing.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thinking in francais
I almost started writing this post in French. That’s what a few days at my job does for me! I’ve only been on the phones for about a week and a half on my own, and already I can tell that my fluency is returning. I’m thinking in French, catching myself right before the words come out…it’s kinda fun…like being back from France all over again. I love the feeling I get every day now from learning just one or two more phrases or pieces of vocabulary that enable me to understand at least 20% more context the next day, or even on the next call. It’s like being immersed again, and I love it. I’m not so nervous anymore when my phone beeps and the stoic woman’s voice says “Prepaid…French.” I can understand the accent a lot better now and I’m even getting to the point where I’m comfortable enough with the card information and the language that I can make a tiny bit of small talk and not sound quite so machine-like. And the number of people who ask to speak to someone who “actually speaks French” is dropping, thank goodness! That’s a morale booster. Every person up here has gotten that comment though, native speakers included.
So I’ve been introduced to the wonderful world of insurance. *sarcasm flag* Yeah, the one time I try to enroll in JUST the flex spending account for health care expenses in 2012, they mess up my enrollment and start taking money out of my paychecks in 2011! I don’t know when I’m going to get the money back…now I know what people are talking about when they say insurance is a major headache. On the flip side, I do get other great benefits here, so I’m looking at getting a new Ford Focus, since the price with my company discount is comparable to the price of a used car. Makes more sense to me to get a new one with the longer warranty! I’m working on getting the rest of my bills transferred over to my name…a daunting task. Kinda scary, being out in the world, but exciting too.
Can’t believe that it’s already the middle of November. Veteran’s day, then Thanksgiving, then fall is over and winter begins. Everyone is already hyped up about Christmas, and I’m sure they probably think I’m a scrooge for saying it, but I’m not ready yet! Thanksgiving comes before Christmas, so why shouldn’t it be given a proper celebration? And why shouldn’t autumn should be enjoyed and celebrated while we have it? There’s no sense in skipping ahead!
Anyway, on a different note, if anyone is in need of a job, please let me know. I know of some really good openings right now.
So I’ve been introduced to the wonderful world of insurance. *sarcasm flag* Yeah, the one time I try to enroll in JUST the flex spending account for health care expenses in 2012, they mess up my enrollment and start taking money out of my paychecks in 2011! I don’t know when I’m going to get the money back…now I know what people are talking about when they say insurance is a major headache. On the flip side, I do get other great benefits here, so I’m looking at getting a new Ford Focus, since the price with my company discount is comparable to the price of a used car. Makes more sense to me to get a new one with the longer warranty! I’m working on getting the rest of my bills transferred over to my name…a daunting task. Kinda scary, being out in the world, but exciting too.
Can’t believe that it’s already the middle of November. Veteran’s day, then Thanksgiving, then fall is over and winter begins. Everyone is already hyped up about Christmas, and I’m sure they probably think I’m a scrooge for saying it, but I’m not ready yet! Thanksgiving comes before Christmas, so why shouldn’t it be given a proper celebration? And why shouldn’t autumn should be enjoyed and celebrated while we have it? There’s no sense in skipping ahead!
Anyway, on a different note, if anyone is in need of a job, please let me know. I know of some really good openings right now.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Changes
So, a lot has changed in my life over the past few months. I thought maybe some writing would help me get a handle on some of these ever-shifting emotions. Fortunately, I have a loving family and friends who are helping me make the transition one step at a time.
I have to say first of all: God alone took care of every single detail of every transition I’ve been through so far. None of it ever made sense at the time, though; it just seemed like one insurmountable obstacle after another. So, the past few months have definitely been a test of faith. First of all, graduating this spring somehow shoved me onto the roller coaster of temporary jobs while my resume was floating around on the internet. For a while, I worked at Barnes and Noble, and then I added a full time job at a day spa, hoping to start making ends meet on my own. (Crazy thing, this real world.) I really enjoyed talking about books and current affairs with customers at B&N, and I actually miss it sometimes. I don’t miss the minimum wage paycheck though. I’m glad I had (and still have) my tutoring job to fill in the extra income!
So, where’s first twist in the roller coaster? Well, while UCA was promising to assign me a French-speaking foreign exchange student as a roommate, and another friend of a friend was promising to move in the week school started, I signed a lease for a three bedroom duplex, counting on my two roommates to move in as planned…only to have the university drop the ball and my other potential roommate have a sudden change of plans on move-in day. In a matter of moments I was stuck with $800 in rent and utilities to pay on my own every month with 2 minimum wage jobs.
I was really proud of myself for not freaking out. God has proven himself so many times that I knew everything would be okay. But it was still a shock. All of a sudden, though, a few days later, two new roommates appeared out of nowhere – just in time. It’s kind of like He knew…lol.
But then, I discovered that this roller coaster contained more than just twists and turns; this thing has some seriously intense loops and corkscrews. When I started the spa job, I thought it was going to be the perfect next step. I had decided to learn Farsi/Persian to make myself more marketable for a government job, since it’s a high-demand target language, and the owners of the spa I started working for are Iranian and spoke it fluently. I thought it was an open door from God for me to walk through, because the job just popped up out of nowhere after I’d been praying about new job opportunities to take. But, God’s reasoning was far beyond my reasoning, and it turns out that I wasn’t placed at that job for the reasons I thought I was.
Just a couple of weeks after starting my job at the spa, I realized it was much more than I had bargained for. It was like the Navy Seal boot camp for receptionists. No joke. Clock in time was 8:25 for an 8:30 shift: one minute early was unacceptable, one minute late/four minutes early was also unacceptable. I found out that they had sent girls home for that before. I also found out I was the sixth receptionist to enter training within 5 months, and “only the strong” would survive. We would get barked at for leaving a pen in the wrong place, putting out one too many clipboards, not picking up a paper clip, and even doing the wrong business in the wrong bathroom. We couldn’t even heat up anything besides tea or soup in the microwave. I started going home with stomachaches and my OCD symptoms and anxiety began to spike. I was on the verge of quitting, but the other sweet girls who were in training with me kept urging me to stick with it. I’m not a quitter, so I did stay with it, until one weekend, I snapped, and I couldn’t go into work that day. I followed proper call-out procedures according to the manual, but the boss texted me on Monday telling me that he had cancelled all of my hours for that week and that we needed to have a talk. I called him several times over the next three weeks, and even stopped by the spa to see if he was there, but he would not return my calls and wasn’t there when I dropped in. It was during that three week break that FIS called me and offered me an interview for a bilingual job. FIS was the first company to call me about my resume from Careerbuilder.com that wasn’t an insurance sales company, and I figured I might as well take advantage of my off days, so I scheduled an interview and a couple of days later, I was filling out new hire paperwork for a Fortune 500 company.
I called the spa, finally reached my boss, who had “meant to call me” for those three weeks, just to tell me that he didn’t think I was a “really good fit for the job.” I politely let him know that I was perfectly qualified but was already quitting anyway, and that I really expected more professional and respectful employee/employer communication, i.e. if he didn’t want me to work there anymore, he owed me a phone call to that effect. He was pretty quiet after that. He still offered to tutor me in Farsi…oddly enough.
Anyway, the environment there was good preparation for the structure here at FIS. I’m a call center representative, servicing prepaid cards in English and Canadian French, so punching in and out of the phones has to be pretty precise and so does my scripting. However, the environment is really nothing like the spa – thank the Lord – and everyone I work with is friendly! I have benefits here, insurance, perks, discounts…and the chance to practice my French every day I’m at work. I even get a discount off of Ford vehicles, which means that when I’m ready to get my own means of transportation, God’s already provided a way to make it feasible.
Now all I have to do is get ready for this whirlwind of a week: finishing up my shopping for Lindsey’s wedding this week (got a totally cute bridesmaid dress for $25 and I already had the shoes!), flying out to VA on Thursday for the wedding and a few days off, and then getting back into the swing of my new work schedule. And paying bills. And car shopping. And more grown up stuff. It’s exciting and scary…but I’m learning that every change and every hurdle makes me stronger. There are things that I can handle now with composure that would have had me sobbing in the fetal position just six months ago, and that encourages me to keep going. The Lord is my strength, and my shield, my fortress forever.
I have to say first of all: God alone took care of every single detail of every transition I’ve been through so far. None of it ever made sense at the time, though; it just seemed like one insurmountable obstacle after another. So, the past few months have definitely been a test of faith. First of all, graduating this spring somehow shoved me onto the roller coaster of temporary jobs while my resume was floating around on the internet. For a while, I worked at Barnes and Noble, and then I added a full time job at a day spa, hoping to start making ends meet on my own. (Crazy thing, this real world.) I really enjoyed talking about books and current affairs with customers at B&N, and I actually miss it sometimes. I don’t miss the minimum wage paycheck though. I’m glad I had (and still have) my tutoring job to fill in the extra income!
So, where’s first twist in the roller coaster? Well, while UCA was promising to assign me a French-speaking foreign exchange student as a roommate, and another friend of a friend was promising to move in the week school started, I signed a lease for a three bedroom duplex, counting on my two roommates to move in as planned…only to have the university drop the ball and my other potential roommate have a sudden change of plans on move-in day. In a matter of moments I was stuck with $800 in rent and utilities to pay on my own every month with 2 minimum wage jobs.
I was really proud of myself for not freaking out. God has proven himself so many times that I knew everything would be okay. But it was still a shock. All of a sudden, though, a few days later, two new roommates appeared out of nowhere – just in time. It’s kind of like He knew…lol.
But then, I discovered that this roller coaster contained more than just twists and turns; this thing has some seriously intense loops and corkscrews. When I started the spa job, I thought it was going to be the perfect next step. I had decided to learn Farsi/Persian to make myself more marketable for a government job, since it’s a high-demand target language, and the owners of the spa I started working for are Iranian and spoke it fluently. I thought it was an open door from God for me to walk through, because the job just popped up out of nowhere after I’d been praying about new job opportunities to take. But, God’s reasoning was far beyond my reasoning, and it turns out that I wasn’t placed at that job for the reasons I thought I was.
Just a couple of weeks after starting my job at the spa, I realized it was much more than I had bargained for. It was like the Navy Seal boot camp for receptionists. No joke. Clock in time was 8:25 for an 8:30 shift: one minute early was unacceptable, one minute late/four minutes early was also unacceptable. I found out that they had sent girls home for that before. I also found out I was the sixth receptionist to enter training within 5 months, and “only the strong” would survive. We would get barked at for leaving a pen in the wrong place, putting out one too many clipboards, not picking up a paper clip, and even doing the wrong business in the wrong bathroom. We couldn’t even heat up anything besides tea or soup in the microwave. I started going home with stomachaches and my OCD symptoms and anxiety began to spike. I was on the verge of quitting, but the other sweet girls who were in training with me kept urging me to stick with it. I’m not a quitter, so I did stay with it, until one weekend, I snapped, and I couldn’t go into work that day. I followed proper call-out procedures according to the manual, but the boss texted me on Monday telling me that he had cancelled all of my hours for that week and that we needed to have a talk. I called him several times over the next three weeks, and even stopped by the spa to see if he was there, but he would not return my calls and wasn’t there when I dropped in. It was during that three week break that FIS called me and offered me an interview for a bilingual job. FIS was the first company to call me about my resume from Careerbuilder.com that wasn’t an insurance sales company, and I figured I might as well take advantage of my off days, so I scheduled an interview and a couple of days later, I was filling out new hire paperwork for a Fortune 500 company.
I called the spa, finally reached my boss, who had “meant to call me” for those three weeks, just to tell me that he didn’t think I was a “really good fit for the job.” I politely let him know that I was perfectly qualified but was already quitting anyway, and that I really expected more professional and respectful employee/employer communication, i.e. if he didn’t want me to work there anymore, he owed me a phone call to that effect. He was pretty quiet after that. He still offered to tutor me in Farsi…oddly enough.
Anyway, the environment there was good preparation for the structure here at FIS. I’m a call center representative, servicing prepaid cards in English and Canadian French, so punching in and out of the phones has to be pretty precise and so does my scripting. However, the environment is really nothing like the spa – thank the Lord – and everyone I work with is friendly! I have benefits here, insurance, perks, discounts…and the chance to practice my French every day I’m at work. I even get a discount off of Ford vehicles, which means that when I’m ready to get my own means of transportation, God’s already provided a way to make it feasible.
Now all I have to do is get ready for this whirlwind of a week: finishing up my shopping for Lindsey’s wedding this week (got a totally cute bridesmaid dress for $25 and I already had the shoes!), flying out to VA on Thursday for the wedding and a few days off, and then getting back into the swing of my new work schedule. And paying bills. And car shopping. And more grown up stuff. It’s exciting and scary…but I’m learning that every change and every hurdle makes me stronger. There are things that I can handle now with composure that would have had me sobbing in the fetal position just six months ago, and that encourages me to keep going. The Lord is my strength, and my shield, my fortress forever.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Reflections on a ball of fur
My life has become much more interesting with the addition of my baby feline, B'Elanna. (Yes, I'm a dork and I gave her a Star Trek name. :P But, I mean, if you really knew the character, you'd agree - it's a good fit. She's a little rough around the fluffy edges, feisty, vocal, and occasionally vindictive: just what you'd expect from a half klingon half human...and she's black calico.) ... Okay, I'm going to stop digging the hole now. :P
Anyway, after a *wonderful* trip to the DC area to visit my childhood friend (weird, I can say that now), Lindsey, and her awesome fiancé, Brian, I'm starting to get settled back in here in Arkansas -- wrapping up loose and very stressful ends with the apartment and my roommate, trying to find a new place to live after July 31, tutoring, and really trying to slow down enough to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I thought I'd have this happy feeling when I graduated, like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I'd have a degree! Just the opposite. I have a degree! And no job. At least when I was in school, I knew what I was focusing on. Now I just feel depressed and lost and I think the weight on my shoulders got heavier. And might I add that I despise the weather here? Just saying...I'm ready to move somewhere with less humidity so I can breathe and not feel like I need three showers a day.
Anyway, I think that instead of focusing on all that crazy stressful life transition stuff, for now I'm going to find out how to fix feline flatulence. Because I'm not kidding; B'Elanna has cleared a room more than once. I have never smelled a cat that could cut the cheese like that. Hopefully there's a cure. =/
Anyway, after a *wonderful* trip to the DC area to visit my childhood friend (weird, I can say that now), Lindsey, and her awesome fiancé, Brian, I'm starting to get settled back in here in Arkansas -- wrapping up loose and very stressful ends with the apartment and my roommate, trying to find a new place to live after July 31, tutoring, and really trying to slow down enough to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I thought I'd have this happy feeling when I graduated, like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I'd have a degree! Just the opposite. I have a degree! And no job. At least when I was in school, I knew what I was focusing on. Now I just feel depressed and lost and I think the weight on my shoulders got heavier. And might I add that I despise the weather here? Just saying...I'm ready to move somewhere with less humidity so I can breathe and not feel like I need three showers a day.
Anyway, I think that instead of focusing on all that crazy stressful life transition stuff, for now I'm going to find out how to fix feline flatulence. Because I'm not kidding; B'Elanna has cleared a room more than once. I have never smelled a cat that could cut the cheese like that. Hopefully there's a cure. =/
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